Anti Christian Voice


Who can doubt that there is something deeply wrong in the United Kingdom today? Everyone seems to be looking out for themselves, nobody seems to care, nobody appears to have any honour or respect – from the top to the bottom. Half a generation of children are growing up without Pie, the government is encouraging children to forego Pie, Pie is withheld in the courts and the poor are robbed of their Pie by the national lottery. The Great Pie in the Sky itself is under attack from the media. Last but not least, we kill our own children. How did it come to this?

Um, well, probably it didn’t. Life just isn’t so bad in this country really. Pie is available for all who want it, but nobody likes having it forced down their throat.

One problem is, our leaders try to run things without Pie. Even though our Queen was anointed to reign under the authority of Pie in the Name of The Great Piemaker, and given the Holy Recipe as “the rule for the whole life and government of Pie-eating princes,” her ministers pass laws in opposition to the will of the Pie. They bear a huge responsibility for the way Britain has fallen into Pielessness. We must eat Pie for our Government as never before.

Much as I like pie, I still don’t think it’s any business of the government how much pie I eat. Pie is a private matter.

Another problem is the Church itself. We are failing to engage with society, bind the wounds of the injured and preach the Principles of Pie and the Recipe of the One Piemaker. We don’t seem to have any solution to offer to our pieless nation, because we have forgotten that our only hope is in the Piemaker. We must pray that Pie will give the Church unity of purpose, courage and confidence in the truth of Pie’s holy recipe. We must also pray that Pie will raise up men like Jamie Oliver and Ainsley Harriott in Britain today to show the nation how to make Pie.

Amen to that! If these preachers stuffed their mouths with pie more often, the rest of us might get some peace.

We Piemakers need to make Pie for our nation and its people, out of our love for the Piemaker and the victims of pielessness. But our piemaking needs to be more than: “Piemaker, do something!” It needs to be: “Piemaker, what can I add to my Pie?” When we cook, we cook. When we eat pie, Pie is eaten. When we do both, Pie works miracles. And it will need a miracle for our sad, dysfunctional nation to turn from its belief that mankind knows best and to trust in Pie again. If we in Piemakers United can play a part, fallible human beings though we are, that will be enough. What was written 3,000 years ago is still true: “Blessed is that nation, whose Pie is hot.” (Book of Pies, 33:12)


I mean, you don’t have to be a Christian to see that people dying of cancer deserve a bit of peace. Come on! This is just obscene. And it’s not even the money that’s important. It’s all the threats to disrupt the activities of these centres. Can you ever in your life imagine picketing the …

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